In which I jump the gun

Thank you all for your advice- I might have taken the ‘don’t wait’ bit a little too much to heart- circumstances permitting, I will try again THIS cycle.  In 4-5 days.

The reason I decided to go for it was: this morning, CD13, I tested with my clear blue fertility monitor, I’m already at high fertility (ie, high estrogen). If I ovulate on CD17, (as has been the norm for the past few cycles), I’ll have atleast 4 days of high fertility, which is not too shabby.

I’ve not been preparing for this: I was on a break from my prenatals for 2 weeks of my last cycle, I consumed a lot of alcohol last weekend and had the worst hangover of my life, I’ve been merrily spraying clouds of ethanol around myself at work.  But—screw that. All the preparation and care in the world can get you nothing, while people who drink, consume no folic acid and live off a steady Mcdonalds diet with not a leaf of spinach in sight end up breeding like rabbits to produce perfectly healthy children.

I also don’t have any swimmers at my doctor’s office.  I just called my clinic and have one vial winging its way here to get here Monday morning. So, as long as I don’t surge tomorrow, all will be well.

The reason I was going to wait till July was, if all went well, I’d be only 4 months along at my brother’s wedding.  If I try this cycle, and things work out, I will be a whopping 20 weeks along.  Hiding it from the masses that constitute my ginormous family remains a priority.  The very first thing I did was google ‘20 week bump photos’, there is quite the range. There are women who look full term at 20 weeks and then there are those that barely show. Most people are showing by then though. I wonder how it would be for me: I’m super petite with fairly decent abdominal muscle tone, and nothing was really visible when I’d gotten to the 12 week point the first time around (though my baby had died at probably the 8-9 week point). But it is impossible to predict: I’ve been praying that spanx and an empire waist will do the trick, IF it comes to that.