Its getting to that time that the bridge you've been dreading crossing is looming up in front of you. And most vexingly, my work situation is forcing me closer and closer to some less-than-ideal decisions.Without going into details as to why, I think I want to stay in my current job only till the end of August, at the very best. I can still only try to get pregnant in my July cycle. Which means, I'll have to either have to face a transcontinental move at some early point in my first trimester, or I'll have to try to get pregnant once I've relocated to India.
The second option, on paper, does seem ideal. I can go back, have my vials shipped out (although I'm pretty irrationally afraid that they would get lost in transit), and I since I plan on atleast 2-3 months of blissful unemployment (my parents would happily support me in this state for years if need be), I can deal with the entire TTC/ first trimester period with zero work- or moving-related stress, which there will be oodles off if, I try option # 1, which is get pregnant next month and then move.But still, the other choice fills me with dread.
I want to try here. Next month. I don't want to wait 2-3 months to do this. I don't want to try again in a completely new atmosphere (India), even though logic says that, in many ways, it is better. But there is that utterly irrational fear of the unknown.
I want to try here next month knowing that I will have to deal with all the accompanying stresses of wrapping up my job and moving. Knowing that the experiments I have lined up that will work with some of the most toxic chemicals. Of course, you take precautions to make sure your exposure is non-existent, but still.
What do I do? Color me scared, and somewhat conflicted.
The second option, on paper, does seem ideal. I can go back, have my vials shipped out (although I'm pretty irrationally afraid that they would get lost in transit), and I since I plan on atleast 2-3 months of blissful unemployment (my parents would happily support me in this state for years if need be), I can deal with the entire TTC/ first trimester period with zero work- or moving-related stress, which there will be oodles off if, I try option # 1, which is get pregnant next month and then move.But still, the other choice fills me with dread.
I want to try here. Next month. I don't want to wait 2-3 months to do this. I don't want to try again in a completely new atmosphere (India), even though logic says that, in many ways, it is better. But there is that utterly irrational fear of the unknown.
I want to try here next month knowing that I will have to deal with all the accompanying stresses of wrapping up my job and moving. Knowing that the experiments I have lined up that will work with some of the most toxic chemicals. Of course, you take precautions to make sure your exposure is non-existent, but still.
What do I do? Color me scared, and somewhat conflicted.
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