I'm hyper-sensitive to anything happening in all my lady parts. My 2 girls are nice and sore-- I whack them if I go several hours with no twinging. I've had some pretty sharp pains and sensations that feel uterine in origin at 3-4DPO which made me ecstatic. Apparently, women who get this can turn out to be pregnant. Whoopdedoo.
The chorus of the John Mellencamp song "Hurts so good" has been featuring prominently at in my nutty head these past few days. I've been having some moments of mildly painful sensations that make me grin like a goofball through the winces. If I feel nothing through long stretches of time, I'm convinced nothing has worked. If I feel any pain or any sensation out of the ordinary, it buys me several hours of reassurance.
As a scientist, I scoff at this. 'Symptoms' mean jack-squat, especially when you are hypersensitive, over-imaginative and have several signs of high luteal-phase progesterone even in cycles when there is no chance that you may have conceived. But it does have value in that it keeps me sane because it buys me those stretches of complete normalcy till we come to testing time. So please, the powers that be, make it so hurt so good.
I know that if I don't get a positive HPT by day 10-11 then its game over. I can handle that- you've got your requisite time of crying and adjusting to the new reality that you have to do this again, and then, if you are me, then you return to an even keel fairly quickly and you go on to the next portion of the plan. Hopefully. But in the meantime universe, please keep the twinges coming.
Here is another thing I've been grappling with for a while--- my original plan was to return to India when I am around 5 months along, after the detailed anatomy scans are completed and deliver there. My mom, who has worked with neonates for a good part of her career, and she dropped a bombshell on me a few weeks ago- she strongly wants me to finish my pregnancy here and then return. She feels this because New York (especially the university I am with) has, apparently one the best premie units in the country. India, she feels, based on her experience, is adequate with the level of expertise of the very top doctors (that I will have access to) but fails badly with the quality of nursing care. This is something that pisses me off so much. Trained qualified nurses hightail it out of India the first chance they can get, because they don't get paid well, nursing as a profession is undervalued severely.
I've asked my mother to do more research to get a better idea of how things are there, because staying here, while practically possible, is not something I want to do. As you can clearly see, despite my trying to control it, pregnancy makes me neurotic. Being around people constantly, with that loving bedrock of family, goes a long way is dispelling my neuroses and keeping my mind off things.Sigh. Effin decisions.
The chorus of the John Mellencamp song "Hurts so good" has been featuring prominently at in my nutty head these past few days. I've been having some moments of mildly painful sensations that make me grin like a goofball through the winces. If I feel nothing through long stretches of time, I'm convinced nothing has worked. If I feel any pain or any sensation out of the ordinary, it buys me several hours of reassurance.
As a scientist, I scoff at this. 'Symptoms' mean jack-squat, especially when you are hypersensitive, over-imaginative and have several signs of high luteal-phase progesterone even in cycles when there is no chance that you may have conceived. But it does have value in that it keeps me sane because it buys me those stretches of complete normalcy till we come to testing time. So please, the powers that be, make it so hurt so good.
I know that if I don't get a positive HPT by day 10-11 then its game over. I can handle that- you've got your requisite time of crying and adjusting to the new reality that you have to do this again, and then, if you are me, then you return to an even keel fairly quickly and you go on to the next portion of the plan. Hopefully. But in the meantime universe, please keep the twinges coming.
Here is another thing I've been grappling with for a while--- my original plan was to return to India when I am around 5 months along, after the detailed anatomy scans are completed and deliver there. My mom, who has worked with neonates for a good part of her career, and she dropped a bombshell on me a few weeks ago- she strongly wants me to finish my pregnancy here and then return. She feels this because New York (especially the university I am with) has, apparently one the best premie units in the country. India, she feels, based on her experience, is adequate with the level of expertise of the very top doctors (that I will have access to) but fails badly with the quality of nursing care. This is something that pisses me off so much. Trained qualified nurses hightail it out of India the first chance they can get, because they don't get paid well, nursing as a profession is undervalued severely.
I've asked my mother to do more research to get a better idea of how things are there, because staying here, while practically possible, is not something I want to do. As you can clearly see, despite my trying to control it, pregnancy makes me neurotic. Being around people constantly, with that loving bedrock of family, goes a long way is dispelling my neuroses and keeping my mind off things.Sigh. Effin decisions.
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